


But Heroes Often Fail

by TheGrayPlaces



Category: Captain America - Civil War, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Tony Stark, Like a few days before, Relationship Issues, Shit hits the fan before shit hits the fan, Takes place right before Civil War, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony consumes copious amounts of alcohol, Tony's life is a suckfest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-01 12:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11486031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGrayPlaces/pseuds/TheGrayPlaces
Summary: Tony Stark doesn't know how to live without Pepper Potts.ON HOLD UNTIL FURTHER NOTICEI may or may not have completely forgotten where I was going with this story. If I remember, I will continue. My sincerest apologies to anyone who cared enough to be upset





	1. On the Rocks

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, friends!
> 
> Here I go again, beating the shit out of poor Tony. This is canon compliant up to and including Civil War, but I haven’t seen Spider Man Homecoming yet so it may not work with that. (Update: it doesn't. Bummer.)
> 
> As always, please fill my comments section with feedback. I value comments more than kudos (although those are nice, too) so keep 'em coming!
> 
> Thanks for listening,  
> ~Shea

“Can I get you anything else, Mr. Stark?”

“Another vodka, please. On the rocks.”

“Of course.”

Eight years ago, Tony would have watched the waitress her entire way back to the kitchen, admiring her long legs and Disney-princess waist until she disappeared behind the swing of a leather-padded door. That Tony would have imagined cherry red fingernails digging into the skin on his back, his own fingers tangling in glossy hair. Would have imagined what she looked like under that pressed blouse and black pencil skirt.

But this Tony sees only the hair, brown, and turns away to continue his increasingly feeble search for red. 

He doesn’t look at his watch. He won’t. He doesn’t want to know how long he’s waited here for her. He doesn’t want to see physical proof of how badly he needs her. So when the waitress leaves his vodka on the table, placing it over the ring left by the previous five and the countless careful ginger ales before he began to lose hope, he drops his watch into the drink and walks out the front door.


	2. Upside Down

Friday doesn’t greet him when he staggers through the front door, and it takes him a moment to remember that he shut her down. It’s painful enough hearing her voice where Jarvis’s should be. The last thing he needs right now is the constant reminder that she was meant for Pepper. A personal assistant for his personal assistant. He thought it was a nice gesture. She just shook her head and said she was fine on her own, Mr. Stark.

That was before the suits. Before Afghanistan. Before his world was turned upside down and she turned it rightside up. Now his world is tipping dangerously again, and she’s not here to fix it. And Tony doesn’t know if he’s strong enough to do it himself. 

He goes to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of scotch, nearly dropping it on the way to the couch. He knows he’s had too much, knows he should just take a cold shower, sleep it off, and hope he feels better in the morning. 

He drinks until he passes out.


	3. The Door

The next week finds him sitting in a cheap rental car with blacked out windows, parked on the road a few doors down from her mother’s townhouse. He’s sure she’s here, she has nowhere else to go. He only met her father once, but he was enough of an asshole that Tony’s confident she isn’t with him. 

He stares at the green door, the brass knocker mocking him from the other side of the street. He wants to get out of the car, walk down the street, take that knocker in his shaking hands. He wants to look into her blue eyes, pull her into his arms, smell her shampoo. But he can’t make his legs work. 

He startles hard when his phone rings, smacking his head against the rental’s musty headrest and releasing a puff of air that reeks of elderly women and old hand lotion. He reaches for his phone, wrinkling his nose against the smell, and hits ignore when he sees Rhodey’s face on the screen. He’s not in the mood for a heart-to-heart about his feelings with Rhodey right now. All he wants to do is grow some balls and knock on her door. 

The door opens.

Tony’s heart leaps into his throat, hammering behind his Adam’s apple at the thought of just seeing her. But this time the hair is gray, and his heart drops back into his chest, leaving behind a lump he has to struggle to swallow past. Every part of his body suddenly feels heavy, and he knows the panic attack is coming before it hits. 

His hand instinctively moves to the door handle, but he catches himself before he opens it. If she’s still in the house, he can’t get out. So he rides out the storm cooped up in the driver’s seat of someone else’s car, hunched and shaking. 

He won’t come back here again.

**Author's Note:**

> Title and inspiration from _If You Could Read My Mind _by Gordon Lightfoot__


End file.
